#whatever happened to the 'shut up and you wont sound stupid' rule

[projectjasper]

cis people shut up about trans gnc people challenge

level: (apparently) impossible

[jawritter]

First...

Request: Hi! This is my second request, first one you wrote so well so I thought of troubling you again🙈 Can you write one virgin reader and Jensen ? This would be like when Jensen is around 29 or 30 years. Reader and Jensen are dating for like 3 months and on a sleepover things get heated and she tells him that she's a virgin. Next all your smutty stuff, pain, pleasure, cuddles, talks etc! Next morning, breakfast and all fluffy moments! Thanks

Warnings: Virgin reader, insecure reader, loss of virginity, smut, light language, hint of body insecurities, fluff, I think that’s about it. 

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 2745

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Please don’t copy my work! Feedback is golden! After I was cruel to Jensen in you and me yesterday I thought I’d give you guys a little sweet, fluffy smut! Hope you all enjoy!

Want more? Check out my masterlist!

***MASTERLIST***

Three months. 

Three of the best months of your life really. 

That's how long you'd been dating Jensen. 

The two of you met at the coffee shop you worked at when he came in for his morning. He was running late that morning, and didn't get to make his usual cup at home, so he made Clif stop so he could grab something on the way to work. He didn't have time to get your number that morning, even though he did his best to flirt with you while you made his order, he came back later that day on his lunch break and refused to leave until you gave him your number. 

It started out slow. Texting back and forth turned into late night phone calls, late night phone calls turned into dinner dates, dinner dates turned into regular dates, regular dates turned into sleepovers and long weekends together. 

That's where you were heading right now.

It was Friday, and Fridays usually consisted of heading over to Jensen's after work instead of your small apartment. He'd have dinner ready for the two of you, whether he cooked it himself or ordered takeout, according to the text message you received an hour ago it would be takeout tonight from your favorite Chinese restaurant that wasn't far from where Jensen lived. The two of you had gotten into the habit of eating there regularly. 

This was the part of the week you looked forward to the most. Long nights of cuddling, watching movies, and just being together. 

Even though you'd come far in your relationship with Jensen there was one thing the two of you still hadn't done. One thing that taunted you because it was you that kept you from doing it.

You still hadn't had sex with Jensen.

Most people that are dating someone like Jensen would have made the leap already, I mean the man was a sight to see, you weren't blind. 

The problem for you lied with the fact that you were in your mid 20's and still a virgin. 

Jensen was a 30 year old actor that had probably been with more women than he could count. He wasn't promiscuous in any way, in fact he was  a little shy, but he wasn't innocent, and you knew that. That wasn't the problem. The problem was all you. You were afraid.

So many things that made you self contious came rushing to the forfront of your mind every time you thought about even attempting to have sex with him. What if you weren't good enough for him? What if there was something wrong with you, and you didn't even know it? Like what if you didn't look normal? What if it was painful, and you physically couldn't do it? 

Those things probably sounded stupid to most people, but your mind liked to blow thins out of perportion, and this one was it seemed to be enjoying itself doing.

Jensen never pushed you to go further than you wanted to go. He was respectful of you, and never made you feel bad or stupid for not wanting to fall into bed with him. 

It's not that you didn't want to, you were just afraid. 

You'd never really worried about this before, because all the other guys you dated never lasted that long for one reason or another, and the thought of sex wasn't ever the forefront of those relationships. With Jensen everything was intense, and different, and right. Even though it had only been three months you were already head over heels for him. It was just this one thing....

When you finally got to Jensen's apartment things went on like they usually did. Dinner in which the two of you talked about your day and his. Cleaning up the kitchen together before changing into PJs, Jensen getting the movie ready for tonight. Then your absolutely favorite part. Laying wrapped in Jensen's arms. 

Your mind a thousand miles away from whatever was playing on the screen. You were too busy focused on the set of soft pink lips that were currently brushing over yours. Soft, gentle. The kind of kiss that made you feel weak. 

When he finally broke the kiss he looked at him. His green eyes shining even in the darkened room. Brushing your hair away from your face as he looked at you. You could tell that he wanted to take that a lot further than what he did. The prominent bulge in his pants was enough to give that away. Even though he never said anything to you.

You decided then and there that enough was enough. You were in your twenties. You weren't a child anymore, and you weren't going to sit here another minute and act like a scared little kid. You trusted Jensen, and you wanted to be his, in every way possible. 

Reaching your hand around his neck playing with the little short hairs that were there you pulled him back down to you, kissing him deeper than you ever had before, and it didn't take him long to catch up to where you were thinking. Jensen pulled away gently, and rested his forehead against yours. 

"Sweetheart, we don't have to if you're not ready to...." 

You cut him off by placing your lips on his for a short moment. Just long enough to silence his worrying. It wasn't like it wasn't something that you'd discussed before. Jensen knew about your fears and hessitations towards sex, and he always told you that nothing would happen unless you were ready, and he'd always kept his word.

"I'm ready Jensen. I trust you." You tell him. Looking deep into those eyes that you could drown in. There was more love and affection there than you'd ever known, and you did trust him. You trusted him more than you trusted anyone. 

"If at any moment you feel uncomfortable or change your mind, all you have to do is tell me. Okay? I wont be mad, I just want you to feel comfortable with me." 

You nodded your head, afraid if you used your voice it would give away just how afraid you were right now, but you didn't want to let fear of the unknown rule you, and miss out on something so intimate and beautiful as being that close to someone that you love. 

Standing up from the couch Jensen scooped you up in his arms, making you squeal with surprise, as he carried you bridle style down the hallway to his bedroom. Shutting the door with his foot, and dropping you on his bed playfully. Landing on top of you with a growl that was worthy of Dean Winchester. Smiling down at you with a smirk that had you honestly melting, and he hadn't even really touched you yet. 

You giggled at him as he playfully nipped at your neck and jawline before finding your lips again, and laying a kiss on you that had your head swimming. You could tell in that moment just how much he'd been holding back with you, and you decided that he would never have to hold back again. You loved him too much to miss out on anything that he had to give you.

His tongue swept over your bottom lip, asking for entrance that you granted him without hesitation. Letting his tongue dance along with yours in a perfect rhythm. His hand sliding down your sides and gripping your hip with a firm squeeze before his fingertips trailed up the shirt and exposed the skin of your stomach to him. His touches slow and feather light. Giving you plenty of room to tell him to stop if you needed to. 

The thing about it though, was that you didn't need him to.

The moment his lips found yours there was no turning back for you. There was no fear, or hesitation. Just the need to be closer to the man that you'd fallen so deeply in love with. 

Breaking the kiss you sit up just enough to slide your shirt over your head and throw it on the floor next to the bed. Jensen does the same and returns to kiss you. Down your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. Leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Slipping his hand around you he unclasps the hook of your bra and pulls it down your shoulders slowly before removing it all together. A growl low in his throat as he took in the exposed skin. His hands make a feather light trial over the swells of your breast.

"Beautiful." He whispered before bending down and taking one of your nipples into his mouth. Swerling his tongue, and sucking gently, but enough make your back arch off the bed, and a fresh wave of slick pool in your panties. A moan falling form your lips as he moves to give your other breast the same treatment.

His hands snake their way down your sides and he left little open mouth kisses on your stomach. Down to the waistband of your leggings. Looking up at you for permission before he grabs them, and pulls them and your panties down your legs in one smooth pull. Leaving you completely exposed to him. 

His eyes explored you as his hands trailed their way up your thighs. Spreading your legs for him to settle himself in between. Looking up at you with lust blown eyes before dipping his head down to your wet folds, and licking a gentle strip through them. Your head falls back against the pillow and your hand makes its way to his short, soft hair as he slowly works over your little bundle of nerves with his tongue. Your body felt like it was on fire. Pleasure that you'd never experienced before hitting you like waves crashing over a beach. The muscles in your stomach grow tighter and tighter with each lick and suck of his beautiful mouth. Your core clenching around nothing. 

While you were lost in his administration he slips one of his fingers into you, pumping it slowly and curling it to find a spot deep inside of you that almost had you screaming. When he was confident he wasn't going to hurt you he slipped another finger in and that was it. The coil inside of you snapped, and the strongest orgasm you'd ever had washed over you. Spreading throughout your whole body as his name fell from your lips. His fingers scissoring you. Opening you up and getting you ready for him as you slick covered his fingers.

Licking himself clean Jensen pulls his pants and boxer down and throws them to the floor while you catch your breath from the most intense thing you'd ever experienced. His eyes never leave yours. His thick swollen length slapping proundly against his stomach as he was finally bare before you. Man he was the single most beautiful site you'd ever seen. He was huge though, and that made your breath catch in your throat as you started to have doubts again.

As if he could hear what you were thinking, Jensen crawls his way up your body. Hovering over you and kissing you slowly. Bringing your attention back to him.

"If you don't want to continue we can stop baby." He whispered. His forehead pressed against your own as he brushed the hair away that had fallen in front of your face. 

"No. I've come this far. I don't want to stop." 

Jensen just nodded and reached between your bodies. Pumping himself with one hand before lining himself up with your dripping entrance. His arm snacking around you, holding you close to him. 

"Do you trust me?" He ask you. His eyes search your own. You  nodded your head and his lips came down on yours as he started to slowly inched his way into your body. Each new inch added an uncomfortable stretch that was borderline painful, but the slow pace was more torchure than the pain.

You nodded as if to give him permission, and in one hard, yet surprisingly smooth thrust he buried himself deep inside of you. White hot pain shoots it's way through your body, making your breath catch in your throat, and your nails dig into his shoulders. 

Jensen started kissing every inch of your face and neck that he could reach in effort to distract you from the pain you were feeling. Staying perfectly still inside of you until you have forced yourself to relax around him. 

Once he was confident he wouldn't hurt you he pulled out slowly, and then pushed his way back in. Setting a slow, steady pace. Pain quickly turned to pleasure with each thrust of his hips. Jensen's teeth bit down into his lip, and he grunted above you. 

"Fuck your tight sweetheart this isn't going to last very long." He said burying his head in the crock of your neck. Both of you a moaning panting mess as his pace became quicker. His fingers finding your clit again. Determined to make you cum with him. His pace starts to stutter as your walls clamped down around him, and you become lost in the deepest orgasm you'd ever experienced. 

Jensen stilled and spilled himself deep inside of you, groaning and panting as your walls milked him for all he could give you.

Once you both had come down completely from you high as gently as he could he removed himself from you. Kissing you gently before standing up next to the bed, and going into the bathroom to retrieve a warm washcloth, and wearing a fresh pair of boxers. 

Gently as he could he cleaned up the mess that was between your legs, and crawled into the bed pulling you close to him. 

Laying there you fell asleep with your head over his heart, and his fingers playing with your hair. 

The next morning when you woke up you were alone, and that scared the fuck out of you. Did you do something wrong? Did he not want you anymore? Was there something wrong with you? Your anxiety was about to take over when he entered the room, A plate of waffles on a tray, along with some coffee, and your favorite syrup. You breathed out a sigh of relief as he smiled at you. Sitting the food down in front of you that he's prepared before kissing you deeply.

"Morning." He said before sitting down next to you. 

"Morning. I thought that you'd left." You tell him earnestly. His eyes narrowing at you for a moment.

"Left? Why the hell would I leave? No, I was making you breakfast. Like I do every morning you're here." Jensen said, slipping himself behind you and wrapping his arms around your middle. Kissing your neck softly.

"I don't know, I guess I was just worried that you didn't like me anymore, or something was wrong with me so you ran away." You tell him. Feeling silly all the sudden.

"What? No way? Last night was the single best night of my life. Your beautiful sweetheart! There's nothing at all wrong with you, your perfect, and I hate to break it to you, but your stuck with me." He said. Giving you a playful jab as you leaned your head back against his shoulder.

"I love you, you know." He said, kissing the top of your forehead before sliding your food closer to you so that you would start to eat it. 

"I love you to Jensen." You tell him. Lacing your fingers together for a moment. "That you for being so patient with me." 

Jensen said nothing for a moment, just stayed there holding you close to him as possible. Letting all the insecurities and everything that you were feeling melt away as the warmth of him surrounded you.

"Thank you for trusting me."

That was the first for a lot of things for you, the first time you'd ever been with someone sure, but it also was the first time you ever let your walls down, and let someone in, it was the first time you put your insecurities and fears aside, and just enjoyed the moment, not over analyzing the way you always did, or over calculating things like you had a tendency to do. You felt so much closer to him, and you couldn't wait to see what other first the two of you would tackle together. Because no matter what, as long as you had Jensen, you felt like you could overcome whatever came your way.

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Tag List: 

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​

[virtuoshosh]

{{ the donor diaries: entry one... }}

Who: Shosh & Cass

Where: Hogwarts

When: End of February 2020

Cass sat at breakfast, empty plate in front of him. Thank Merlin it was Saturday, he wouldn't have to go to class. Hopefully, he could just sleep all day. Cass rested his cheek in his hands, barely listening to Shosh chatter on about whatever. The mail came, but Cass didn't move. He was only sitting there long enough so that Shosh wouldn't yell at him. A letter dropped on his plate and Cass sighed, blinking drearily. He couldn't wait to go back to his dorm.

Shoshana frowned at Cass across the table; he was clearly not listening to a word she said. She sighed, then gave a what the fuck are you looking at? expression to some of the people who were giving her dirty looks for sitting at the Slytherin table. A letter dropped in front of Cass and Shosh blinked at him expectantly. When he didn’t make any moves whatsoever to pick it up, Shosh waved a hand in front of his face and said, “Hello? Earth to Cass? You gonna open that or what?” He looked up at her with that (unfortunately familiar, recently,) blank expression—like Shosh was speaking another language—and Shosh gave a frustrated sort of huff and snatched up the letter. She raised her brows at Cass, as if daring him to tell her not to open his freaking mail, and when he didn’t, Shoshana slid a butter knife underneath the envelope’s wax seal and pulled out its contents.

The envelope, it turned out, contained a letter that looked to be written on parchment that was maybe a thousand years old, in very neat old-fashioned script that was penned in deep red ink. Shosh’s eager eyes read the words with hungry curiosity, once all the way through in silence. Then she read aloud, “‘Henry William Halestorm cordially requests your presence at a formal after-dark soiree in celebration of his—one hundred and twenty first birthday’??” Shosh’s eyes glinted with interest as she glanced up at Cass, and then back down at the letter. “Holy shit that’s cool, your dad is such a G! You’re gonna go, right? It says here the invitation is for you and your—” Shoshana’s stomach dropped horribly when she read the words on the page, glistening up at her in what now seemed a menacing red: your donor. 

She looked up at Cass again with apprehension and unmasked protectiveness. No way was that awful bitch getting her wrinkly hands on her friend again. Not if Shosh had anything to say about it. 

Cass looked at Shosh and gave a shrug. He didn't care about his mail. Who would bother writing him anyway? Only his Dad, who had either heard from Pomonia and would be mad at him for ditching her, or would ask for an update on his abysmal studies. Neither seemed appealing. He didn't care if she read it.

He barely flinched when his father's name was read, anticipating the written tongue lashing that was about to occur- but he found himself genuinely surprised. His Father hadn't thrown a soiree in... Vlad only knew how long. Maybe 5 years? They didn't even celebrate his own birthday. He sighed at Shosh's enthusiasm, wetting his lips then pursing them into a thin line when she cut off. "My donor." Cass finished, flatly. "No. I won't be going. I'm finished with breakfast, I'm going back to bed." Cass spoke in monotone, not looking at Shosh as he pushed himself to stand, walking out of the Great Hall. Even thinking about Pomonia was making him feel ill.

Shosh winced at Cass’ tone, the look on his face; she hated this so fucking much she almost couldn’t stand it. He shoved up out of the table and Shosh scrambled up, too, hastily trying to shove the invitation back into the envelope without fucking it up too much. “Cass—wait!” She hurried down the opposite side of the long table after him. She could hear the flurry of whispers that started up as she passed; ‘there goes Shoshana again, chasing after monsters who don’t even like her…’ Shosh shot glares at the gossipers and pushed the doors of the Great Hall open a bit too harshly. 

It didn’t take her too long to catch up to Cass, even though he was very much trying to get away from her. “Cass—for god’s sake, hold on a second—” She hopped in front of him to block his path, and despite the exasperated look he gave her, Shosh yanked him by the elbow through the nearest door—which turned out to be a cauldron cupboard. She pressed herself in front of the door, spreading her arms to prevent him leaving. “Hear me out, alright?” She took a few deep breaths, winded from chasing him. “I need you to hear this as me caring about you, as your friend, and not as me trying to be, well—me-ish. You need blood, right? I haven’t seen you consume anything more than a blood lolly in weeks, and I’ve been watching…And no one—I repeat, no one—wants you going anywhere near Pomonia to get it. But the only way to get her to leave you alone and get your dad off your case is if you find a new donor, right? So to me, the answer seems pretty clear…” She held up a hand to stop Cass interjecting and said, firm and serious, “I’ll be your donor, Cass. The school has rules, but vampire society as a whole doesn’t, I…I’ve been reading about it…” Shosh flushed a little, but pushed through with conviction, “…and the school never has to know. I’m good at acting, I can pretend to be whatever you need me to be in front of your dad, you can tell me what to do…please, I want to do this for you. I can’t stand to just sit by anymore watching you suffer when I could help…”

It wasn't the first time people had whispered about him and his friends, and it wouldn't be the last. He tuned out their voices, wishing for the millionth time that he had his fathers ability to just switch off his humanity. How much easier it would be to just not feel. He quickened his pace to try and shake Shosh, scowling a bit like a drowned cat when she yanked him into a cupboard. He tried to leave and she wouldn't let him, so Cass stood there with his arms folded, glaring. He did that very well. He sucked his teeth when Shosh mentioned he hadn't drunk in a while. Cass was well aware of that, a burn flashing down his throat at mention of it. He was exhausted, irritable, fucking depressed. He scowled, realising where shosh was going with this, but forced to shut up when she interjected again. Cass huffed, "Just because you didn't read them in a book, doesn't mean we don't have rules. Of course we do. I'm..." he ran a hand over his face, massaging his temples. "I can't get expelled. I can't. And what if you are my donor, then you show up to my Dad's party? He'd be furious that I dropped Pomonia," He said the word like if left a bad taste in his mouth, "Not to mention my Dad's friends, the other donors..."

Shosh made an indignant sound in her throat. “Of course I know you have rules, I’m not that daft, I meant you don’t have rules that prevent you from choosing a donor who doesn’t—wh-who is actually—” She knew how defensive Cass could be about his longtime donor and couldn’t find the right words to say what she wanted to without further upsetting him. But that didn’t seem to matter since he already was upset with Shosh, clearly, and she could feel the heat rising in her as well, their voices loud in the too-small space as they argued rapid-fire back and forth. “I’m not trying to get you expelled either, obviously! But I also don’t want you to get—!” Raped. She’d been so close to blurting it out, insensitive as Shosh was wont to be, that it was actually miraculous she’d managed to keep it in. There were angry tears that were stinging her eyes and Shosh wiped them away harshly. Stupid. There was absolutely no reason to let her emotions get the better of her and she chastised herself for it; Cass was the one who had real reason to be hurt here. And it wasn’t even him she was angry with. It was just passions running high and she knew that. 

So Shosh took some calming breaths and then reasoned, quieter, “Maybe he would be a little mad, at first, but I just don’t believe that your dad wouldn’t ultimately want what was best for you. I…I know how this must sound, coming from me, based on what happened before and just—who I am, but…I promise you this is not about that. It’s not a fucking—sex thing, okay? I don’t want that…” Okay, so that was a little bit of a lie, but Shoshana’s intentions were honest at least. “…or need it. We could just…do this as friends. I don’t need anything out of it other than you being happy and feeling safe. The band needs you and right now you’re not all there.” She squared her shoulders, raising her chin up and standing her ground, prepared for rejection if it came. “As for your dad’s other friends, that’s really just a matter of you coaching me on how to behave. I know you’re quite embarrassed of me now, but that’s just because you haven’t given me a real chance to learn any better. I’m a very quick study, you know…”

Between Shosh constantly mentioning Pomonia, donors, and his recent feeding habits (or lack thereof), as well as the rising heat in that tiny cupboard, Cass was feeling beyond thirsty. Most days it was a subtle burn- like a dry throat that couldn't shake with water. But in the heat of the moment, under pressure, it was an ache in his jaw, a pounding pressure behind his eyes, stiffness in his neck. And he could hear her pulse especially clear in this little cupboard. They bickered back and forth about it, mostly talking in circles, until Cass reached up and smoothed down his face with the palms of his hands.  "Shosh, listen, okay? You need to stop. I get it. I can't see Pomonia. My Dad will come around. But you need to stop talking about donors because I am so fucking thirsty, it's unbelievable," He looked at her, dropping his hands. "I can't go to Madame Pomfrey, she'll ask why I didn't bring the extra bags. And I can't feed from you or anyone because every time I think about it, I think about her, and what happened, and how I am so fucking wrecked without her even though she's the one that wrecked me. It's too much."

Shosh stopped talking mid-sentence when Cass told her to stop, and she watched him, and she listened, deflating significantly. Fuck, was she ever not a pushy, insensitive bitch? Of course he was thirsty—with the way he looked and the way he’d been acting, depriving himself like he was, he must have been fucking blood-parched. Shosh let him finish without cutting him off, and then she reached out and put her hands on his arms on either side of his body, squeezing lightly. “You are better than her, Cass…” she insisted, looking at him straight-on, “…I know you, and you are so much bigger and stronger than how small and powerless she made you feel.” She let her hands drop back to her sides before continuing, “I know she hurt you and that hurt isn’t just going to go away. But right now you’re hurting yourself and I can’t—I won’t just watch you keep doing it without saying something. That would make me a pretty shit friend…” Shosh pulled her fingers through her hair and then folded her arms in front of her chest. “…so what do you wanna do, huh? I’m smart, you’re smart…so how do we get you what you need without it reminding you of her? Do you…want me to steal an IV kit from the Hospital Wing and draw my own blood? Because I’ll do that. Or what if…is there any spot you could feed from on me that you haven’t ever done from her? Somewhere you wouldn’t associate with her at all, and I’ll just cover it up after…?”

He didn't know if he was better than Pomonia. Sure, she had hurt him. But he was convinced it wasn't malicious. Cass shifted uncomfortably, averting his gaze when Shosh took his arms. He didn't feel strong. He shrugged his shoulders up to his ears, "I could write Dad, ask him to send some..." Cass trailed off, then looked up at Shosh, puzzled when she continued with her plan of being his donor. He swallowed. It was so tempting, he wanted it so badly, but he was still on edge, fear prickling in the back of his mind. "What..." He swallowed, looking back up at her through his fringe. "What do you want in return? I can't.. I've got nothing left."

“What do I want?” Shosh replied, incredulous and just a tad unhinged. God, he was really not getting it. She tugged at her hair with her fingers in frustration and then drew in a breath, smoothing down her clothing. “How about this, Cass—why don’t we make things very efficient and agree to be straight-up with each other; when I want something from you, I’ll just tell you. And then, you can in turn tell me what you want, and we can go from there. For example...” Growing weary with wasting time and energy on this back-and-forth, Shoshana held one hand up in the air and with the other, she withdrew her wand and cut it through the air and muttered “Diffindo,” which made a shallow slice across her palm. She didn’t flinch at all, and continued calmly, “...right now, I would like you to drink enough of my blood to tide you over until you’re able to get more from your dad. Then, I want to get out of this cupboard and go put those new lyrics you gave me to some music...” Shosh held her bleeding hand in front of her, like she was offering him a handshake. “...now you tell me what it is that you want—what you really want.”

Yes. What did she want? How hard was it for her to understand that his donor had only ever wanted things from him? He was nervous, panicked for what she'd ask. Cass eyed her palm, about to reach and stop her when her palm was cut. Cass had to clench his jaw, and his fingers into tight fists. He swallowed, breathing shallow as he took her hand and moved it closer. As the blood slipped down her palm, he slipped his finger up it and licked his finger clean, giving a low groan that sounded suspiciously like a growl. "I... I don't want to ask my Dad to send me some." He admitted, before bringing Shosh's palm right to his lips and drinking, deeply.

Shosh smirked a little at his reply, the dark look he was giving her and the fed-up growl. Well, that was at least a little more like it; a step in the right direction of Shoshana’s ongoing project of getting Cass to prioritize himself and not let other people walk all over him—including Shosh herself. He started to drink from the wound on her hand and fucking hell, how had she forgotten how seriously great that sharp sting of it felt? Her pupils blew out a little involuntarily and she had to work hard not to react, rolling her lips back into her mouth and swallowing down a whiny sound that threatened to climb up her throat; if Cass was ever going to change his negative associations with feeding then Shosh needed to ensure that he was alone with his thoughts and feelings and not distracted by her at all. With her free hand Shosh stabilized herself on the door frame, but otherwise managed to keep impressively still until Cass was done drinking. He closed up her cut with magic before she could say anything about it, and Shosh drew her hand back, rubbing lightly over the pink line with her thumb and she nodded, once, businesslike. “Right. Good. Well, do you feel a little better now, at least?” She flashed Cass a grin before digging in her bag for a moment and withdrawing a pack of moist towelette wipes—they were meant for removing makeup, but they’d do in a pinch. She pulled out one for her hands and then tossed the pack at Cass, giving her hands a quick wipe before she pulled out the fingerless gloves she still had stashed at the bottom of her bag, and put them on. Her heart was beating fast with adrenaline, which Shosh was trying to cover up by acting very, very casual about all this. 

Cass could feel the instantaneous effect of the blood on his body. He drank deeply, having his fill and- admittedly, a touch more than was really necessary, before he pulled back, closing his eyes for a moment and breathing through the euphoric feeling before healing up her hand. He swallowed, licking his lips as he let go of her hand. Cass opened his eyes, nodding at Shosh's question. He took the wipe and wiped off his mouth, then his fingers, just to be sure. It occurred to him that he maybe... Wouldn't need to shower immediately after feeding? There was no feeling to wash away. Cass shifted, watching as she pulled at the gloves and listening to her heartbeat, which was racing uncomfortably fast. He pressed to the corner of the cupboard, then moved one of the cauldrons upside down for Shosh to sit on. It probably was wise to have her rest up in the cupboard, stuffy as it was. "Do you have water, or something? A snack? I know you just had breakfast, but... Oh, breakfast is probably still on. You could go eat something there."

Shosh rolled her eyes affectionately. “Dude, you don’t need to fuss over me—I’m fine. I had a huge breakfast—which you would know if you’d been paying attention.” She gave Cass a wry smirk but sat down on the upturned cauldron, anyway, and just to keep him from pressing the issue she dug around in her bag until she landed on a pack of Twizzlers. She opened the package with her teeth and pulled out a red braided candy, which she bit off the end of and chewed for a moment before she said, “Just think about it, alright? The party—if you decide you wanna go, if you want my help…just let me know.”

"I know," He grumbled. "But you need to eat something. Even just a snack. And probably drink some water. You just, like, donated a whole pint of blood. Standing up, too." Cass shoved the wipe in his pocket and looked down at her as she sat. That calmed him a bit. The edge went right off when she started eating the Twizzlers.  You could always count on Shosh to have muggle candy. He nicked one off her, chewing it thoughtfully. Now that he was sated, it was easier to think. Easier to process things. Cass swallowed. "I want to go. My Dad will really want me there. I'd love to have you there. I'm sure Dad would love you. But I can't-" He stopped for a moment, breath hitching again at the thought of her. Cass shook his head. "Think of the thing between donors and vampires as... A weird, exchange of respect. Vampires definitely have the power, for sure. But if you mistreat your donor, or worse, someone else's... That's really fucking bad. If I showed up with you, everyone would know I've dropped her. And they'd assume I just ditched her unless I told people. And I don't want to tell people."

Shosh smirked as Cass took a Twizzler, relieved to see that his entire demeanor changed. To her it seemed so easy—to just do this thing for her closest friend, that she wanted to do, when she could see plain as day that a thing as simple as a bit of blood given willingly and regularly would keep him stable, and satisfied, and more himself… But she also knew it was a lot more complicated than that—and wasn’t everything always so frustratingly complicated?

Cass started talking and Shosh listened attentively, pressing her gloved hands palms-together between her knees. Hearing him say that he wanted her to be there, to confess that his dad might actually like her, made Shosh grin with pride. But she forced herself to think hard about what he said, knowing that Cass didn’t usually give out this kind of information readily—especially not to her. She recognized that it was important to him that she understand, important to his father and to people Cass considered like family that she respect the way things were, even if Shosh had strong feelings about the way Cass had been treated all these years. So she nodded, and said thoughtfully and seriously, “Okay. I respect that you don’t want to tell people what happened, I understand that…but I still want to be there for you, if I can, if you’ll let me. Would it be…I mean, would it be violating any customs if we just made it look like you were, I dunno—trying me out, as a new donor? Training me as her replacement, or something like that? Like a longevity arrangement…I mean, it’s not like she’s all that young—” Shosh made an apologetic face, knowing she’d maybe overstepped, and hastily added, “—erm, sorry.”

Cass swallowed his bite of Twizzler, the sharp sweetness of the sugar punctuated by her blood, still lingering on his tastebuds as he thought about it. He thought about it. Vampires switched donors sometimes. Usually, and rather morbidly, he thought, it was mostly because donors died. Other times, donors fucked up somehow. He'd have a reason if he told his father. Cass shifted uncomfortably, considering it again. He sucked his teeth. "We could... We could just refuse to tell people, if they ask about it. She won't wanna tell them. But if someone asks we could just be, like, Shosh is here with me tonight, she'll be taking Pomonia's place." He seemed to think out loud, and then looked up at Shosh, sizing her up with a sigh. "I can teach you stuff. We have a little bit of time." He offered his hand to help her up from the cauldron she'd been sitting on, then pushed open the door of the closet. "First thing- don't talk about people's ages. Some vampires are almost a thousand years old and they're pretty sensitive about it."

Shosh’s face lit right up when he seemed to be seriously considering this, and she nodded along eagerly with what he said, already envisioning it. “Yes, yes!” He was looking her over and Shosh straightened her back a little; she wasn’t sure what it was exactly that Cass was looking for, but Shosh was convinced that she had it, whatever it was. Or, at any rate, she would. 

She took Cass’ hand and hopped up, her mind already starting to tick with excitement. He was going to teach her things! Real things, about being a real blood donor! Shosh put a hand to her chest and quoted cheekily, “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain…” like Cass was her Vampire Higgins and she was a twisted young Eliza, and then she flashed him her characteristically crazed wide smile. She stepped out of the closet after him and her demeanor flipped in an instant, looking serious and intent as she committed what he said to memory. “Okay, got it. What else?” Shosh pressed eagerly, wanting to soak up more more more like a sponge. In fact, she had a binder in her room that was just dying to be filled…

[do-your-socks-have-holes-in-them]

Til the End of the Night / Ch7: In which weird stuff happens in the forest

Previous / Masterpost / Next 

Summary: Finally, the adventure properly begins.

Warnings: one (1) really big spider

A/N: I love writing this story because I can just stick whatever the heck I want in there, it’s magic and imaginary, nothing has to make sense

Read on AO3

Even just on the outskirts, something felt different about the Fae Forest- different from the rest of the world, that is.  A tingling Virgil couldn’t seem to shake out of his hands.  Patton bouncing on his feet, saying he felt like a soda can someone had just shaken up for a prank.  The forest was clearly as full of magic as it was of trees, and they could sense it.

Logan didn’t feel a thing.  This supported his theory that, unlike the other two, he had not acquired any magical abilities upon entering the Imagination.  It was unfortunate, because if he’d had his own, he could have easily studied it.  Patton wouldn’t agree to Logan intentionally hurting himself just to watch him heal it, and Virgil’s power had so far only been able to manifest when he felt himself to be in immediate danger, which was not a situation anyone wanted to replicate.  Although, to be fair, if he tried it he’d most likely get to see Patton’s magic up close again as well.  If nothing else, it would be efficient.

In any case, he didn’t really want or need to feel that things were strange.  He still had eyes, and he knew it wasn’t normal for a school of tiny blue-green fish to be swimming through the air in the middle of a forest.  They weren’t disturbed when Patton walked right into their midst, and in fact, to his delight, some even brushed up against him.  They were a little more wary of Virgil putting a hand out to touch them, but appeared to decide as a group that he wasn’t threatening.  He pulled away first, in fact, when a particularly bold fish tried to bite him, which didn’t actually hurt since it was so small, but was still not appreciated.

The creatures- whatever they really were, it couldn’t actually be fish- were clearly not especially skittish around humans.  So why, when Logan finally approached for a closer look, did they all dart away as soon as he got within a foot of them? “Oh, come on,” he said as they regrouped and flew away into the treetops.  “Do I really look that scary to you?  ...I’m talking to magic fish right now, this place is making me lose my mind.”

Patton looked disappointed.  Logan patted his shoulder.  “I’m sure there will be more absurd fauna for you to look at later.” Patton nodded, cheering himself up with thoughts of what they might find further on.  Maybe there would be flying dogs.

“So, magical forest,” Virgil said in an attempt to dispel the slight awkwardness.  “I bet it’s haunted.”  He smirked and circled around behind Patton. “Boo!”  Patton squeaked in surprise and stumbled into Logan, giggling, even though there was no way he didn’t see that coming.  

Logan was about to start up the same speech he gave every time Virgil brought up the supernatural, citing the subjective and/or dubious quality of all the available evidence for such things, but then he remembered they were in Roman’s world now and very little of his expertise on basically anything was applicable.  Maybe it was haunted, who knew.  Certainly not Logan.  He really could not wait to be out of here.  He kept his mouth shut and gave the world in general an annoyed look, suddenly very irritated with how bright and sparkly and unrealistic everything was.  Roman had just better appreciate his putting up with this.

Patton, at least, was once again in a great mood.  He had more energy than he knew what to do with thanks to the concentration of magic, and Virgil muttered something along the lines of “not this again” as he held him back from running off the path after some fireflies or something he’d spotted.  “We have to stay on the path or we’re gonna get lost, can you please stop stressing me out?”

“It felt like they wanted me to follow them,” Patton defended.

“I’ll just bet they did.”

Logan had to agree with Virgil.  “Our goal is to locate Roman and bring him back to the mindscape before morning, we do not have time for chasing fireflies.”

“Okay, you’re right, I guess.”  Patton sighed.  “I’m just getting kinda tired of walking.  I thought this would be more fun.”

“Is walking supposed to be fun?”  Logan would never understand the strange expectations Patton had for the entertainment value of things as simple as getting from point A to point B.

“Oh, I know, we should play a game!”

“...What kind of game are we talking here?”  Virgil didn’t trust the games Patton came up with, not since that time he got Roman to stick his hand in hot wax.

“I dunno, like… games you play when you’re going somewhere and it takes a long time.  Like… I Spy! I’ll start,” he added, seeing that they still weren’t entirely on board.  “I spy, with my little eye…”  He ignored Logan’s protest that his eyes were no substantial amount smaller than anyone else’s.  “Something… purple!”

“Me.”

“It’s clearly Virgil.”

“I am literally the only thing around here that’s even a little bit purple, it’s, like… really obvious.  Sorry.”

“But it still got you playing!  Your turn next since you guessed it first!”

“Augh, fine.  I spy, uh… something green.”

Logan just raised an eyebrow, realizing what he was looking at immediately and deciding it would be cheating to say it.  “I am not participating in this round.”

“Is it… grass?”

“No.”

“That tree?”

“Nope.”

“That tree?”

“It’s not a tree.”

“Hmm.  You’re really stumping me here, kiddo… let me think… the green part of a flower?  Bushes?  Moss?”

Virgil shook his head in the negative to all three.  “Give up yet?”

“Well, I don’t seem to be getting anywhere…  What is it?”

“It was the leaf in your hair.”

Patton ran a hand over his head and found the foliage in question, pulling it out and staring at it.  “What, there was a leaf in my hair this whole time? I couldn’t see it, that’s not fair… Your turn now, Lo!”

“Yeah, Logan, what do your normal-sized eyes spy?”

Logan sighed and gave in.  “I’m looking at something red.”

The red thing was a small wildflower growing along the path, which Patton picked and handed to him as soon as he figured it out. Apparently it was against the rules of the game to toss it back on the ground, and far be it from Logan to question the rules Patton had made up just then, so he tucked it behind his ear and let his glasses clip it in place.  That was simply the easiest way to carry it without risking it being crushed in his bag. It was the rules, okay?

The game went on for a few more minutes, and they were starting to run out of original things to “spy.”  Logan’s turn came around, as turns are wont to do, and he cast about for something new.  “Something… hmm…”  An odd noise in the trees above them caught his attention, and he looked up, still walking. Something was rustling around in the branches, it seemed like, and clicking, but what was it?  “…Something black?”

“You can’t do Virgil again, I already--”

The rest of Patton’s sentence was cut off by his scream of terror.  Logan started to turn around, and then Virgil literally tackled him out of the way.  As they hit the ground he caught a glimpse of a massive black tarantula, as tall as he was, dropping onto the path where he’d been standing just a second ago.

“Go go go go go,” Patton chanted, pulling them both to their feet and almost vibrating with the desire to be literally anywhere else right now immediately.  Under the circumstances, they didn’t need to be told. They fled into the forest, caring less about not getting lost than about not getting eaten.

They didn’t slow down until the sound of the giant spider behind them had long faded into normal, peaceful forest sounds.  When they did, it was getting dark.  Virgil shot down the idea of making camp where they were before Logan had even finished suggesting it.  He didn’t like the idea of sleeping in this forest at all, let alone somewhere so exposed.  Patton didn’t say anything to smooth over the disagreement like he normally would- in fact, he was completely silent, just gripping both their hands and occasionally closing his eyes and shuddering.  Logan argued that he clearly needed to rest and recover, and Virgil shot back that what he really needed was to get out of this stupid forest as soon as possible, and Patton just wished they would stop fighting about it, and that his voice would work to say so.

Somehow- magic, probably- his wishes were granted.  Just as the two were starting to raise their voices, they stumbled into a clearing.  There was a small cliff at one end of the grassy semicircle, and in front of it a small group of conifers, their branches and fallen needles creating a soft, sheltered spot that was almost too perfect to be real.  Which it wasn’t, of course; it was imaginary. Virgil stopped mid-sentence, looked over at Logan and nodded.

It was warm enough that they didn’t need a fire, which was good, because they probably couldn’t have actually made one if they’d tried.  Or, if they could, they would’ve set the forest on fire or something.  Logan dug through his Mary Poppins-esque bag and pulled out a folded square of fabric resembling a cross between a tarp and a bedsheet, which they spread out over the pine needles, weighing the corners down with rocks.  

Patton sat at the far edge with the cliff at his back and looked up at the moonlight starting to filter through the branches over his head, blinking away the pressure behind his eyes.  Why couldn’t anything just be nice and fun and not turn into running away?  It was like he wasn’t allowed to have a good time without something happening to ruin it.  They’d work through his list of worst fears in no time at this rate, having already covered “spiders” and “not being able to help someone who needed him.”

“I wish Roman was here,” he said, quietly enough that only he himself heard it.  He rubbed his arms, voice falling even more.  “I-I really wish…”  Roman would have killed that awful monster for him, and he wouldn’t be wondering now if it was going to show up again when they least expected it.  And he would have known the right things to say to calm everyone down back in Deercross.  And Patton wouldn’t miss him so much right now.  He knew getting him back was sort of the whole point of the quest, but it would be so much better if he could be here for it instead.

Virgil leaned on a tree, still standing, and looked distrustfully at the darkness of the surrounding forest for a long minute.  “I think we should have someone stay awake,” he finally said.  “Just in case anything happens.”

“We can take turns,” Patton suggested, liking the general concept but not the idea of Virgil being up all night by himself with all the spooky forest noises and responsibility.

“Sure, whatever.  I’ll--”

“I can take the first shift,” Logan interrupted.  “There are some things I want to do before sleeping anyway.”  He was fully aware that if Virgil took it he wouldn’t sleep at all, and Patton would either get distracted after ten minutes or overreact to every little sound, there was no in-between.

Virgil shot him a look and immediately responded, “Second. Wake me up in a couple hours.” Logan nodded.  They both knew there would only be two shifts, regardless of what Patton thought, so he  mentally changed a couple to about four.  He sat against one of the trees near the edge of the little cluster, careful not to get too comfortable and risk falling asleep, and opened his satchel.

It was much too dark to read now, but that wasn’t going to stop him.  He pulled a sturdy palm-sized glass bottle from an internal pocket, something he’d prepared much earlier that day while still at the inn.  Hopefully it would work as intended and not set him on fire. The bottle contained two stratified liquids, one red and one blue, and when he gave it an experimental shake, the two swirled together and turned white, emitting a light that was just bright enough to read by without completely destroying his night vision. Perfect.  Yes, it was essentially just a more fanciful version of a glow-stick, but he’d made it and it worked.

He had more ambitious plans now.  First, though, he found a page in one of his books detailing the uses of the wildflower currently stuck behind his ear, and wrapped it in some extra paper in order to press it there without damaging the actual pages.  Maybe it would turn out to be useful at some point, or maybe it would just turn out to be pretty.  He then exchanged that book for the thicker alchemy one, flipping through the pages and laying out various materials on the ground in front of him.  Oh, and he was paying attention to the forest, too, of course, since that was the main reason why he was up.  Obviously.

It was a little more difficult to get things measured out right with the low light and lack of a level surface to work on, but precision was something Logan was very good at.  He mixed together colorful powders, liquids that came in strangely-shaped bottles, and something that looked a lot like normal craft glitter but was supposedly crucial to the process.  Then he had to wait.  He set a timer on his phone and actually focused on his job for a while, not that anything was happening.  

When the forest became painfully uninteresting, he glanced back at his sleeping friends.  Despite having promised personal space, Patton was very clingy in his sleep and had unconsciously cuddled up against Virgil’s back, even throwing an arm over him at one point.  He didn’t appear to mind this invasion as much as Logan would have expected, though, going off the fact that he had only moved the offending arm when it woke him up instead of pushing Patton away entirely.  His gaze lingered on them longer than he intended, enjoying the peacefulness they seemed to radiate, and he came dangerously close to feeling sleepy himself.  That wasn’t ideal, he should… move around or something…

Logan’s phone alarm buzzed softly, set to the quietest vibration level it had, yet still making him jump.  He turned it off quickly before it could disrupt the others’ sleep.  Having sat undisturbed for half an hour, his mixture was finally ready for use. He took a small brush and painted the shimmering concoction around the edges of a small hand mirror he’d found wrapped up in several layers of protective cloth.  It dried quickly and then disappeared, leaving only traces of glitter on the frame. Hoping he’d done it right, he brushed his fingers lightly over the mirror itself, trying not to smudge it, and summoned a mental image of Roman.

[tachinanabananase]

“Is this your first kiss? I’ve never seen anyone so shy.”

Send me a Spin the Bottle Prompt

Haru gasped out a relieved sigh, concealed behind the sleeve of his shirt so no one would notice. After eight spins in a row, it was a God given miracle that the glass bottle in the middle of the circle hadn’t landed on him yet. 

However, it didn’t make him very happy to see the tip of it pointed right at Makoto either.

“Nooo, not Mako-chan! I don’t want a kiss from mom!” Nagisa squealed with mock disgust, crossing his arms in a pout. 

“What’s wrong with kissing Makoto?” Rin groaned, exasperated. “You make up excuses every time not to kiss anyone but Rei!” 

Naturally, the bespectacled teen in question groaned equally as loud, ”Nagisa-kun, it’s true.”

From next to Rin, Sousuke folded his arms over his broad chest, nodding his agreement. “Yeah. Doesn’t really make sense why we’re playing this stupid game if the guy who started it wont play by his own rules.” 

Haru had to agree with him on that. Not only did the idea of kissing most of his friends entirely weird him out, but just kissing in general sounded more intimidating to him than any competition he’d ever swam in before. If there was anyone who he’d maybe feel comfortable doing that sort of thing with, it would be Makoto. But that’s because it’s Makoto. Makoto was his rock, the person who always knew exactly what to do in a situation like this to make Haru feel safe, to be his support.

Except for when Makoto looked just about as nervous as himself. If not a little more. 

“Ah, i-it’s okay. If Nagisa doesn’t want to-”

“Great!” The blonde shouted over the rest of Makoto’s plea. “Then it’s Mako-chan’s spin! Just pretend like I kissed him,” he settled back into his spot, but not before shooting Rei an unsubtle wink. 

Ever the good sport, Makoto reached for the bottle with a meek smile. “I guess it was bound to be my turn at some point,” he conceded. With a flick of his wrist, he sent the bottle spinning. Haru sucked in another anxious breath, as he had done for the last eight turns as well, and watched with knots mingling with butterflies in his stomach as the tip slowed to a stop, and he was staring into the hallow opening of an empty sake bottle. 

“Ooooo Haru-chan!! It finally got you!” 

The raven cringed at Nagisa’s thrilled shrieks, although he couldn’t quite seem to tear his gaze away from the curious emerald stare locked onto his from across the circle. His stomach gave another anxious lurch as his eyes followed the trace of Makoto’s tongue wetting his lips.

“Haru, is it okay?” 

Of course he asked. How could he think Makoto wouldn’t ask if it was okay? And something told him that it would be, no matter how uncertain he was. Maybe it was the comfort in those green eyes, or maybe it was the quirk of a reassuring smile on Makoto’s lips that sent a warmth sprawling throughout Haru’s gut, but he knew that no matter what, Makoto would take care of him.

“It’s fine,” he murmured, willing away the nervous strain in his voice. It’s just Makoto. He reminded himself. Everything will be okay as long as it’s Makoto.

And suddenly, everything was just Makoto. All Haru could see was his searching stare, his full lips, the flush of pink in his cheeks. He was so close, just inches away and Haru could feel his breath mingling in his own. Out of habit his gaze shot to the floor, caught off guard by the intensity of their closeness, searching for something, anything that would maybe make breathing a little easier right now. 

“Haru?” Makoto’s sweet voice was right at his ear, sending an abrupt shiver down his spine. “Is this your first kiss? I’ve never seen anyone so shy.”

The raven nodded weakly, embarrassment flooding his face red. 

“It’s okay, it’s mine too,” Makoto smiled, a comforting hand reaching to cup Haru’s hot cheeks. “I’ll try not to make it too terrible, alright?”

Haru swallowed thickly before murmuring his wavering reply. “Do whatever you want.

A calloused thumb swept reverently over the apple of his cheek, a sign of appreciation from Makoto. He knew the value of Haru’s trust and was always grateful to have it, especially for moments like this where neither one of them had a clue what was going to happen next. 

Haru watched as dark lashes fell along with Makoto’s gaze, which landed heavily on the pout of Haru’s lips. A second hand cradled the back of his head, urging him closer, and Haru obeyed gracefully despite the way his entire body shook with anticipation. 

“Ready?” Makoto murmured lowly, little more than a hair’s width away now.

Haru nodded again. This time, with certainty. 

Warm and tender lips met his in a timid kiss that made the raven shudder, his eyes falling shut, and it took every ounce of self-control in Haru’s body not to reach for Makoto’s face and press for more. It wasn’t fireworks and lights per se, but it was still good, enough to make the nervous knot in his stomach jolt with a sense of oncoming pleasure. Makoto parted his lips as he angled his head into a second kiss, inhaling the gasp from Haru’s lungs as he dove in for more with a content sigh. Following his lead, Haru opened his mouth and reveled in the heat that flooded his entire body as Makoto’s once shy kiss grew more confident and sultry with each passing second, humming his own contentment as well.

Until the hot lips on his were suddenly yanked away, that is. 

Haru’s eyes fluttered open only to be met first with Makoto’s red-faced, apologetic smile. Then he caught sight of Rin’s scowl, along with the hand that gripped Makoto’s shoulder, and put together what had happened. 

“Alright lovebirds, if you’re going to get sappy like that then take it to the bedroom,” Rin reprimanded, dragging Makoto back over to his spot across the circle. Haru’s own fingers came up to his lips, touching them as if he’d never realized they were there before. His sapphire gaze found Makoto’s again, but the brunet seemed to be in the same kind of enamored shock as he stared right back with an unfamiliar fire in his eyes. “I don’t want the image of Makoto tonguing Haru to be burned into my memory for the rest of my life, thank you,” Rin plopped back down into his own spot with an unnecessarily loud huff of annoyance, shooting a look at Haru. “Your turn, dolphin boy.”

And for the first time that night, as Haru reached for the glass bottle to give it a sharp spin, a little part inside of him hopped that it would point right back at the green-eyed man who had just given him the best first kiss he could have ever hoped for. 

P.s. Later that night Makoto and Haru snuck up to Haru’s room while everyone was alseep and tested out all the other really cool things mouths can do with each other feat. this little bit of dialogue: 

“I’m glad you were my first, Haru.” *kissy kiss smooch*

“Me too, Makoto.” *kissy kiss smooch With Tongue™*